I guess I should update huh?

Well, I haven't really written in awhile to let all ya'll know what's been going on.. Not that there's really much to tell anyway. *sigh*.

I had to drop Jeff off at the airport last Sunday ( Nov 16)... that completely sucked. I know it could be worse, and he could be deployed for like 15 months, but it still freaking sucks. Honestly, I'd rather have him deployed on the sub, getting to see (web cam) and talk to him every day really makes it a lot harder then normal... He's definitely getting leave for Christmas Stand down though, we've already bought the plane tickets... coming home Dec 18 until Jan 4th... so not too much longer... *sigh*

After talking with my RE about what to do this cycle, we came to the decision to put me on BCP. Very strange to be taking them, but you gotta do what you gotta do. We came to that conclusion so that we can manipulate my next cycle to hopefully ovulate while Jeff is home. So I have to call about 10 day's before hes expected home, so we can get started with the plan. I'm going to be taking Clomid again from CD 5-9, get monitored lots to make sure I respond to it again (the BCP might suppress it so we're not sure, but I'm guessing I will). Then another trigger shot and another IUI. We've also come to the decision that we're not going through with the IUI this time unless the count is at LEAST above 800,000. I'd ideally love it to be over a million, but we'll see when the time comes.

In other news, I went to my PCM on Wednesday to get a referral letter for IVF. We talked about our history (thank god she knows most of it). How long we've been trying for, what we've done already, etc. I gave her a copy of both of Jeff's SA's and told her his count for the IUI, she agreed with me that IVF w/ ICSI is our best option. *sigh* So she wrote up the referral letter, I have to give it a few days to be routed through Tricare, then go get a copy and fax it up to Walter Reed. I also had all the pre-IVF blood work done on Thursday, 10 vials worth. I still need to get my CD 3 FSH E2 levels drawn, but that'll have to wait until next cycle. I'm sick of being a pin cushion, but I know it's only going to get worse.

I really don't know why we're going to bother with another IUI in December, I guess I'm just pathetic and holding out hope that we won't need to go as far as IVF. Kinda sad huh? We'll just cancel out of it if his count isn't high enough, so no biggie right?. Just more Clomid and another shot in the ass (ouch), and of course the lovely U/S wand.. *eye roll*. Not to mention getting my hopes up once again... I can't take much more of that.. I'm so scared that we'll never be pregnant, all I want is a baby with my husband, it's not supposed to be this hard.