Cycle #5/Month 7

Ugh AF reared her ugly face today... wasn't really expecting her but when we had sex I bled so I knew she was on her way.. and I was right... this sucks.. my temps were really good this month and I was getting my hopes up.. ugh I knew I shouldn't have done that..Well good things are that our baby wouldn't share his/her bday with a major holiday and Jeff's bday.. so I guess that's a good thing..

Top it all off.. some chick who got her kids taken away from her for being an unfit mother .. just found out shes prego with kid #6.. AND she tricked her husband into it.. *sigh* makes me sad when it's so easy for nasty people like that to get pregnant but Jeff and I are having difficulties.

Well I'm still going to do my plan for this month.. Recap:: I plan on temping vaginally since I believe that'll be more accurate for my body.. I'm also going to order some more PreSeed and I also have OPK's so I'll start using those on CD 15 or 16. We'll also be BDing every other day since Jeff has a low sperm count and we want to give him time to replenish his supplies (lol).

Also Jeff is going for another SA on Monday.. hopefully his results are better than last time *fingers crossed* Oo I almost forgot.. We ordered some Maca Root for him too.. in powder form.. so hopefully that does some good too... I really just want to be pregnant already.. It's so depressing.. I don't know how ladies who have been trying forever handle it from month to month.. Ya'll are my heroes!

*Update*

So I figured I'd write a little update about me... I'm currently on CD 38.. still no sign of AF.. *shrug*.. Someone on JM commented on my chart and said they think I O'd later than my crosshairs were showing.. so I overrode FF and now I'm 13 DPO.. my temps are still up and I did a chart comparison on FF and everyone like mine resulted in a positive test.. sooo.. I will test again if AF doesn't show by CD 41 ( the longest cycle I've had since coming off BCP)..

I'm still going to do everything I posted earlier if AF does end up showing.. but hopefully that doesn't happen and I'm pregnant!!.. OMG I really hope so.. Here are my "symptoms"

* sore nipples.. kind of a random shooting pain that goes through my boobs as well
* cramps and backache
* way more tired than usual.. I've been sleeping in a lot longer lately
* random cramps.. pulling sensations in my uterine area
* really oily skin (my skin is never like this)

That's pretty much it.. hopefully it's good news.. *fingers crossed*.. I'm really trying not to get my hopes to high though.. I hate being disappointed.

Oo.. I got my first baby purchase today.. a baby boy bedding set off Ebay.. brand new... Nautical theme.. only $46 including shipping.. how can you beat that? pic above..

We've also decided we are going to cloth diaper full time.. I've been researching it a lot.. and there's so many benefits.. being good for the environment.. better for the baby.. and cheaper in the long run.. I've pretty much decided what one's I'm going to use already too (as long as baby cooperates).. so I'm pretty excited about that.. We're going to start buying them now.. 1 or 2 a month.. just to build up our stash.. and so we're not buying them all at once.. I actually found a store relatively close to us that sells all of that stuff.. so I'm pretty excited about that..

Alright.. I'll update later.. be it a BFP or the arrival of AF.

Waiting on AF

So I'm kinda down right now.. I'm currently 13 DPO, I tested this morning with FMU and got a BFN.. ugh.. that completely sucks.. I was feeling pretty good about this cycle too, my chart was looking good and our BD timing was right on.. *sigh* so now I'm just waiting for AF to show her ugly face... If she doesn't show by CD 41 I'll test again (that's the longest my cycle has been since coming off BCP- that was the first cycle).. I'm currently on CD 31 so not much longer.. UGH UGH UGH.

This next cycle (Cycle #5) I plan on temping vaginally since I believe that'll be more accurate for my body.. I'm also going to order some more PreSeed and I also have OPK's so I'll start using those on CD 15 or 16. We'll also be BDing every other day since Jeff has a low sperm count and we want to give him time to replenish his supplies (lol).

I'll write more later.. when I have some new news..

Nothing New

Hey.. so just a quick update.. since it's after midnight I'm officially on CD 11.. just waiting to O. I started charting this cycle.. my temp.. cm and cp.. so hopefully that works out for us..

Jeff is scheduling a new SA for after I O.. so *fingers crossed* that it's good results this time.. I'm really hoping last time was like a fluke or something.. But either way we'll get through it.

Well that's really all I have to update about.. lol I'll write more after I O. When I'm in the dreaded 2ww. :0)

I want to cry.

I really just want to cry right now... I know we've only been TTC for 4 cycles now.. but after just finding out we have MFI and everything I'm feeling with that I'm really emotional right now. I don't really have anyone to talk to about it so I figured why not blog.

I'm freaking so sad.. All these girls who JUST started trying.. or weren't really trying end up pregnant right away.. ALL I ever wanted was to get pregnant. and it might not happen at all. I really just want to cry.

Why not us? Will I ever get to feel that joy?. I can't even talk to Jeff about this because I don't want to make him feel bad at all. It's not his fault. *sigh*

I can't even really feel happy for anyone right now.. I'm just kind of numb. It sounds so mean and heartless. But it's just not freaking fair.. *sigh*